When greeting a table, I usually stick with my go-to salutation of "Hi there! How are you guys doing today?"
It's tried and true, straight to the point, and gets the job done. Occasionally I'll switch up 'guys' with 'ladies' or 'folks' depending on the demographic, and interchange 'today' with 'tonight' depending on the hour. But besides those few tweaks, my greeting is pretty standard.
As you would imagine, the customers' responses to this question are fairly standard as well. 'Good,' 'great,' 'fine,' and 'doin' well,' are all quite common, and typically followed by, "How about yourself?"
While this step of the serving process may seem insignificant, I have learned that the greeting actually sets the tone for the entire meal.
Greeting: Hi there, how are you doing tonight?
Response: Doin' well, thanks! *smiles* How about yourself?
Forecast: Friendly customers with a chance of fun. Decent tip likely.
Greeting: Hi there, how are you doing tonight?
Response: Fine. *no eye contact* But my table is sticky.
Forecast: Customers are needy with a chance of being assholes. Impatience likely.
Whatever the dinner forecast, I try to give each customer the benefit of the doubt. While I can usually predict who will tip well and who will screw me over, there have been a few occasions where I was surprised.
One type of customer who has yet to surprise me, however, are those who respond to my greeting with their beverage order as if it was their state of being.
Greeting: Hi there, how are you doing tonight?
Response: Water with lemon.
Oh really? I didn't realize a beverage could be a condition! In that case, I'm feeling Diet Dr. Pepper- bubbly... and completely artificial. I don't have 23 flavors, but I do have 23 reasons why I hate my job! You, sir, being number one.
